Speaking Up for Women

I am a moderate Conservative, I'm a Catholic, and I'm 95% pro-life (for myself).  I also have my issues with publicly mandated health care.  However, regardless of my opinions, it's already done, and there are benefits that even I'm reaping from it that I appreciate (no copays for well woman care is great!).  Of course, now, we're in the midst of this debate about birth control.  Continue reading for my rant...

Seriously, what are men doing trying to represent the interests of women???  As a woman, let me share my thoughts on the issue.  Some of these arguments would not fit into the political debate.  However, I believe that some of the arguments have very legitimate places in the political debate.

My thoughts below are less a response to the argument over Catholic institutions providing birth control to women.  I understand the Catholic church's position on birth control, and I fully understand that trying to bring a new perspective on birth control to most members of the clergy would fall entirely on deaf ears.  My thoughts below are more a response to the conservative "douche-canoe" (my homage to "People I Want to Punch In the Throat" blogger, Jen) men of society, such as Foster Friess, who say things like: "Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly."  Regardless of what he meant by the statement, or whether or not he was joking, this certainly gave a clear indication of his belief system.  It also showed that he's clearly a misogynist, and would prefer a world where women are not allowed to be sexual beings.  Finally, it showed a total lack of understanding of the importance of birth control in women's lives. 

First of all, there's the obvious situation of unplanned children.  There is an epidemic in this country of women, teenage and adult alike, having unplanned children.  I'm all for abstinence for teenagers.  However, let's keep in mind that we're living in the 21st century.  Like it or not, conservative viewpoints on sex when not married are not as popular as they were 60 years ago.  Especially in a world where people are getting married later in life, it's impractical to assume that most people will wait until their 25 or 30 to take that step.  So.... isn't it less expensive to cover birth control than it is to cover pre-natal care, labor and delivery, and child health care when unplanned pregnancies result because women can't afford their birth control options?

Secondly, what about married women?  I'm pretty lucky.  My copays for my medicines are pretty reasonable - thank God for generics, and thank God, I don't have any adverse reactions to using generics.  But I have read about some women who do have adverse reactions to generics and who have had to pay copays upwards of $800 for their IUDs.  I know the Catholic church is all about Natural Family Planning (NFP) and pro-creation.  But, let's face it... NFP is less than foolproof.  Even after getting married, there are lots of reasons why people choose not to have children.  Here are just a few examples:  1) This first one is purely selfish:  Newly weds might want to do some of the things that they won't be able to do after they have kids (or at least the things they're less likely to be able to do)... such as long (and possibly expensive) vacations... go out to eat a lot... go to lots of grown-up movies and/or theater shows and/or concerts... and the list goes on and on. (...This is the one that I would not bring into the political debate ;-)  2)  A married couple might not be able to afford to support both themselves and any unplanned children, especially early in marriage when there's not much in savings yet.  Let's face it, it's an expensive time to be alive - gas is expensive, health insurance is expensive, utilities are expensive, housing is expensive, groceries are expensive - raising children is extremely expensive.  3)  There are some medical conditions that make pregnancy a life-threatening endeavor.  Some women might prefer to take the risk because they want to have the experience of pregnancy and childbirth.  They might want to have a child of their own.  But some women might opt to protect their own lives and by extension the lives of their unborn children.  Some women might decide that they can do more for a child via adoption.  There are lots of babies and children out there needing good homes, and some women with life-threatening medical conditions (in the event of pregnancy) might choose this route in order to protect themselves and the family that they want to build.  4) And of course there are the people who have already had 1, 2, 3 or however many children they choose to have, and they don't want to have any more (for whatever reason).  Should these people have to rely on condoms, even throughout their married lives?  Or should they have access to affordable and reliable birth control?

Finally, let's talk about the medical benefits of various forms of birth control:  Menstrual regularity.  Relief of incapacitating PMS and PMDD symptoms.  Acne control (I took many medications for years for severe acne, and none of them ever worked very well, until... well, I think you can guess).  Endometriosis relief.  Ovarian cyst relief.  What about the potentially decreased risk of ovarian or uterine cancers.  Isn't birth control less expensive than the medical care, prescription medication, and treatments for any or all of the above conditions?  Doesn't the relief and prevention of the above conditions fit into well-woman care as much as annual doctor's visits? 

Again, these are just my thoughts on the topic, and I have been needing an outlet for sharing them.  I'm sure there are people out there who think I'm crazy for calling myself a Catholic and a conservative, while talking about support for affordable birth control and health care.  However, I also know that there are probably a greater number of Catholic pre-childbearing women (and even post-childbearing/pre-menopausal women) out there who are using birth control than not.  Regardless of what others believe, if they're not a woman - if they don't experience PMS, periods, pregnancy, childbirth, and any number of painful gynecological conditions for which birth control provides relief/treatment for, then maybe they should yield to the experts - women - who do experience these things throughout their lives.  At least, if women are brought into the conversation, then an understanding of the many benefits of birth control, such as prevention of unplanned pregnancy for people - both married and unmarried - who are not prepared to support another human life (emotionally and/or financially), not to mention the many medical benefits can be brought to the table.  An intelligent conversation can be had about the topic.

Again, this is not about fighting with the Catholic church over their beliefs on birth control.  The Catholic church's beliefs are what they are, for better or for worse.  This is about granting women their rightful place in the conversation.  If you're going to have a debate about birth control availability, the best people to provide a perspective on the impacts of making it more affordable versus making it either unavailable or prohibitively expensive are the women who need/opt to use it versus women who continue to adhere to the conservative beliefs about birth control.  As women have ovaries, a uterus, periods, they are the experts on the pros and cons of birth control.  Men, stand aside.  Let the experts - women - sit at that table.

"All I Really Want" by Alanis Morissette  

Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker

And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?

Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...